triggers and relationships

part one of this post: triggers
last night my brother's friend said something very triggering. i was trying to get the three boys out of my room (i don't need a reason here, but if you think i do, they were making a huge mess and screaming) and one, let's call him K, said "you act like we're trying to rape you"
what. the. fuck.
in what world is that okay? in what world is it okay to say "you just got raped" when you tell a joke at the expense of somebody else?
i wanted to cut but i didn't. so that makes ten days clean.

part two of this post: relationships
i yell at my mom. she yells back. i say something hurtful. she says something even more hurtful. a screaming match ensues, at the end of which i either end up in the hospital or at my grandparents house. i'm glad to say this one didn't end in the hospital. my grandma comforted me for over an hour, for which i am grateful, but i'm still in tears. even when i asked my grandpa to make me eggs. i am watching adult swim, so i feel a little better. my grandma believes me that i thought i was pregnant because i was sick, and not because i had sex, but my grandpa doesn't. it's a lie anyway, but don't tell them that. i've been off my meds for a week because of the pregnancy scare. that's what started this screaming match. i yelled at my mom for never making my brother go to the hospital but i have to go every time i fucking breathe, i only did it because i was unstable. i've been off my abilify and prozac for a week.