they're not like, disturbing images of what happened, they're just snippets of things like a person's face, or a certain kind of shoe. but it scares the hell out of me because it happened and nobody could save me. nobody was able to stop the horror from happening. i was in the hospital in 2010 for self harm, and i was emotionally neglected (the staff would ignore me when i had panic attacks, and laugh at me all the time, especially when i asked for help) and physically abused (i was assaulted by a girl there and nobody did anything to stop it, they even blamed me) i keep remembering the staff's faces, or their names pop into my head, and my heart races and i go numb, both in body and mind. it feels like nothing is real and for a second i feel like "no, it can't have happened to me, maybe it happened to somebody else and i'm remembering their memories" and i usually self harm. i cut my wrist really bad last night, kinda out of control, even though it wasn't deep, i cut a lot.
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