My brother has been having problems w his head

It scares him. He has the same repeated thoughts over and over. He obsesses over it and he just wants it gone. He's really starting to scare everyone because he's also making suicidal comments because of it and I don't know how to help him. He asked me if he should go to the hospital, and I said no, that he'd be safe with us, and I'm 100% sure of that, because he sleeps all night, and we're always with him during the day, so he can't hurt himself.
I'm just worried about my baby Jake.

I cut yesterday and today. I just didn't know what to do. It was like I was drowning and gasping for air but the air only filled my lungs with more water.

BUtterfly

This blog is really triggering.

I've decided to stop self harming. Some of the posts here are triggering, but I won't delete or edit them because that's what recovery is. It's gritty and disturbing. I did, however, remove the pictures of my cuts in the butterfly project posts. I will post new ones now that there are no fresh cuts.

dream journal

last night i dreamt about residential. except it wasn't like i thought it would be. i snuck in alcohol (i took this to mean that i use self destructive coping mechanisms to deal with my feelings instead of facing them head on), and a cell phone (i took this to mean i have problems communicating) & i talked a lot in group (meaning i talk so much but never about what's bothering me). i also had sex with a girl there (which probably means i engage in high risk activities, and although i may get away w them now, they'll hurt my in the long run) this whole dream probably meant that i need to be more active in my treatment.

food addiction

this food addiction has been kicking my ass recently. i want to lose weight in a healthy way, but i can't stop myself. i'm going to renfrew if i don't lose weight by the end of the summer. i hate myself.
i'm helping somebody on ryl chat.